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The Pawprint | ENHS

The Pawprint | ENHS

The Pawprint | ENHS

To Ex or not to Ex

Tegan+Singleton
Gitashri Gopalakrishnan
Tegan Singleton

“We are never ever, ever, ever getting back together” –Talyor Swift 

We all have been there—you miss your ex and want them back. You can’t let go of the long phone calls and sweet dates…but should you really get back with your ex? 

Seventy percent of people  actually do not go back or reconnect with their ex. The thirty percent of people that do get back with their ex, only half of those relationships work out. Those are bad odds that could end up in a lot of heartache. 

But we still do it.

One thing everyone probably could agree on is that getting back with your ex is a hard and difficult process, as you are trying to reconnect. Even when you get back together, a different outcome is not guaranteed nor is a fairytale ending. 

but why do people even want to get back with their ex? 

  • You miss what once was

You may miss what once was—the sweet memories and how you met. Going through the romantic process over again with someone else may seem fake or exhausting since you start back from square one. Just know that if you broke up with someone or have been broken up with, there had to have been bad moments that led up to that. Don’t forget those.   

                                                                                                              

  • You have a feeling it may work out again 

Making the same mistake over and over again won’t give you a different outcome. It’s the same way with your ex. If you keep picking open old wounds and expect them to heal, you’ll be disappointed. There are a million fish in the sea—don’t get stuck on one, explore around. 

 

  • You are afraid of being alone

 Everyone is afraid of being alone, but remember that a relationship doesn’t define you. If you are feeling alone, reconnect with your friends and family. Plan to go out and pick up your past hobbies. Keep your mind occupied with healthy things and stay active. 

 

  • You feel guilty 

Whatever you did in your past has already happened, and you can do nothing to change it now. What you can do is move on and make sure you know yourself before you get into another relationship—before you hurt another person. 

 

  • You can’t stand the idea of someone else being with your ex

Jealousy is something everyone has felt— that churning of negative emotions in the pit of your stomach. Realizing that your ex isn’t yours anymore is really tough. Letting go and healing these wounds is the best way to live and move on.

 

Whatever your reason is, you have to take a step back and think logically. You and your ex didn’t work out the first time. Why would you guys work out next? 

Here Is How To Break The Cycle

  • Think about the reason you broke up in the first place
  • Be a little more logical 
  • Set your boundaries 
  • Give yourself time to heal 

 

You can only actually get back with your ex if you are willing to readjust and re-evaluate your feelings. 

After you’ve thought it through, and you still decide to get back with your ex, here are some healthy ways to do it:

  • Reach out to your ex after a good amount of time

This may take days or weeks, but take your time before you reach back to your ex. You don’t want your negative emotions to conflict with your communication. When you reach out to your ex, try to keep a clear mind and neutral tone while addressing your wants and needs. 

 

  • Discuss getting back together 

After that, if you both want to get back together you can talk about the issues you guys had in the past relationship in a calm manner. Do not be irrational. Both partners need to speak and be heard equally.Addressing your issues is not enough, both of you have to try and work through them.

 

  • Have a trial period 

Since you guys already broke up once, have a little trial period to try each other out again and gauge where you guys are at. Slowly easing back into the relationship is better than diving head first. 

You Do You 

At the end of the day, your decision is solely yours and depends on your relationship. Your ex may be a good person or someone who cheated on you. Either way, this article hopefully helped you navigate your thoughts on getting back with your ex. 

 

What’s the reason you miss your ex? Do you want to get back with them?  Let us know in the comments below.

 

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About the Contributor
Gitashri Gopalakrishnan, Assistant Editor, Social Media Strategist
Gitashri Gopalakrishna is a senior at Edmond North. She plans to study engineering at OSU and join the Air Force. She attends Francis Tuttle and is an active member of the Tamil Oklahoma Association. Her goal is to create, travel, and make people smile. Painting, writing and cooking are her favorite things to do.

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